I absolutely crushed the month of April.
Running a couple miles a day. Not eating candy, ice cream, etc. Back on the yoga train. Reading tutorials on how to use the kettle bell I got for Christmas (that’s still a work in progress).
I was so locked in that after years of asking, “wtf would I do with an Apple Watch?” I bought a Garmin smartwatch. And it worked beautifully; Cost effective, simple, battery for days, lots of data, and built in GPS. Exactly what I needed.
Then May happens. I did not crush the month of May.
From the instant we booked our trip to Tennessee for a job interview I couldn’t do anything. I lost all that momentum. Stopped cold turkey.
(Does “cold-turkey” apply to going back to a bad habit?)
All this change was happening and I just wanted to be happy. After accepting the job, I spent most of my time trying to shut down fear, anxiety, and worry that I might hate finally leaving California after making it my home for 7 years.
This lead to self-medicating on fast-food, movies, working, packing, saying goodbye to friends, and getting my last moments of Hollywood sitting outside Disney’s Burbank studios. There was more than a little water in my eyes.
In the midst of this chaos, who has the emotional energy to get up and go running?
We get to our new place, and it’s just more of this… change. Emptying the moving POD. Not knowing anyone. Choosing “our” grocery store. Discovering the best time to leave for work (6:55am which adds in just enough extra time to accommodate “phantom traffic jams” I only thought were an LA thing).
But once the music stops, and everyone’s found their chairs, things start to feel normal again. And now you get to figure out what’s next. I’m not going to take the time right now to deal with everything concerning my lifelong dreams and choosing to go in a new direction. Let me just say that replacing what you are passionate about and have been aiming at for over a decade is really hard.
But we are in a good place. We are back on a budget, and I’m learning and growing in my new job. Enjoying the pace that doesn’t include working all day making videos and then working all night making more videos to stay afloat.
Life is good. Except for my body.
At this point I have given zero thoughts about my body. None. nothing. Nada. The last run was months ago now. I was gifted an Xbox One and have rekindled my addiction to Madden, FIFA, and being a pirate with my friends playing Sea of Thieves, which all means more time being a fat-ass.
This weekend my wife made some cookies because I badgered her for something sweet. They were sitting on a plate on the counter when I thought, “This is just wrong. These little pieces of heaven shouldn’t be relegated to an average plate. They deserve better!”
BOOM. Cake plate. Just wish we had some way to make it slowly turn all the time. Even without the automated lazy-susan, they didn’t last past Labor Day.
In the end, I was looking for a “reason to workout.” Trying to find my “why” for it. The greater mission.
Which is odd because you don’t need a reason to brush your teeth, take a shower, or use deodarant. However going for a run, doing yoga, or just plain “not sitting on my ass all evening” required a higher calling.
What broke the cycle was #1 voicing my apathy to my spouse. Because once it comes out of your mouth, and you realize you’re just making up excuses to not do anything, it makes you regret your life choices.
And #2 I didn’t need a divine intervention. No Jesus Calling. No heavenly trumpets. Working out and not eating crap doesn’t need an emotional reason. Some things are common sense.
This is the super secret operation for being healthy even when you’re dealing with the stress of moving: Stop eating that. Start doing something.
“And the reason is You!”
So I start over again today. Which is fine, because what’s worse is staying where I’m at, waiting on a sign while making snow angel’s in the pile of chocolate chip cookies… wishing I was on a lazy-susan.